Embracing the Perfectly Imperfect
How I talk with my inner critic
Hello Nature + Art + Journaling Friends,
In this brief post I am going to confess to something that may or may not surprise you.
Despite years of teaching and years of drawing and painting practice, I still regularly need to have a friendly but firm conversation with my inner critic, that voice in my head that says, “Yikes! Don’t show anyone that painting. It’s not good enough. How can you possibly teach if you can’t get ALL your paintings to come out right?” I’m pretty sure that even artists with decades more years of experience than I still produce work they consider a “bad” painting. Thinking this helps me to have a kind conversation with myself.
For talking with my inner critic, I really like the image that author Elizabeth Gilbert offers in Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear. My inner critic can be a passenger in my car but I drive the car.1 I can ask it to be quiet and let me drive. I can say “Thank you for trying to keep me safe2 but I got this. Now be quiet.” I like this image instead of an alternative - booting the passenger out of the car - because I know that my inner voice is not trying to be a pain, it is only trying to keep me safe.
In the painting above, I wanted to convey my enjoyment of the sunlit trees in the background and the comfort of the shade with the shady area as the frame for the sunny part. It was a bit of a struggle to get the darks of the shade just dark enough with the limited palette that I typically bring with me but I think I got there. Then, looking at the shape of the tree branches in real life and the tree in my painting, I know I didn’t get the scale and perspective right. The real tree was much closer to me than my painting suggests.
But, here’s the thing. I still like my painting. And passers by even said, “Oh that’s lovely!” Practicing the skill of embracing imperfection, I didn't point out the imperfections to the people who stopped to admire, I graciously thanked them for their compliments and I snapped a picture.
There is so much of image management going on in our highly online and curated- images-on-social-media saturated world and it is having a toll on our mental health3. I wanted to do a little bit of a counter-balance to this by owning up to my imposter feelings and putting forth the value of embracing the perfectly imperfect.
I think the perfectly imperfect pieces are darlings and so they hold a special place in my heart. I believe that by finding a way to love the mistakes and imperfections in our work, we are practicing the skills to love the imperfections in ourselves. I imagine that a world with people who are kind to themselves after making mistakes4 is an easier world live in.
I’ll end with something a person shared with me at the beginning of my creative journey that has also helped me keep going. It was my massage therapist, also a creative person who said, “Just as you look at another person’s work and say, ‘Oh, I wish I could do that,’ someone else will look at your work and say the same thing.” I like this, not as message about comparing but about acknowledging that everyone is at different points in skill development. I don’t want to harshly criticize my work while someone is secretly wishing they can do similar work. That would not be an encouraging message for them. Because of this, I have learned to take compliments with grace.
Are you getting out for drawing and painting soon! I hope so. I invite you to share your imperfect “darlings” with a supportive friend and/or in the chat. Share a photo and share what you love about it.
A Wild Braid Nature Journal is part of A Wild Braid. The mission of A Wild Braid is to help people experience rest and build resilience through nature journaling, guided nature walks, art, learning and community. Rest and resilience, in turn, makes it possible for us to show up for the people, beings, and planet that we care about.
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Here is the full passage from Elizabeth Gilbert’s book: “There’s plenty of room in this vehicle for all of us, so make yourself at home, but understand this: Creativity and I are the only ones who will be making any decisions along the way. I recognize and respect that you are part of this family, and so I will never exclude you from our activities, but still—your suggestions will never be followed. You’re allowed to have a seat, and you’re allowed to have a voice, but you are not allowed to have a vote.”
Safe from what? How can showing a painting be “dangerous?” Why, safe from failure! And through showing my failure, judgment from others. Since we are such a social species, social fears are a big deal. Raise your hand if you fear public speaking?!
Effects of Social Media on Mental Health, blog on Annie E. Casey Foundation website.
This skill can be labeled, “self compassion”. For more on the benefits of self-compassion, check out the work of Kristin Neff on Self-compassion.org.